What a strange feeling

Yes, what a strange feeling indeed. Like, I don't want nothing to do with relationships, really, I don't. I don't care about the feelings and I don't want them, I don't want to have to deal with them. But, at the same time... when one of my friends gets lucky at a disco I can't help but feel kinda jealous. Like, trust me, I don't want to have a relationship or to be loved, but at te same time, when it's them and not me I feel kinda left out, like I'm the only one not worth loving, like I'm not pretty enough, or good enough. I know it's stupid and petty to feel like that, but I can't help it, and today I feel kinda sad...